Secrets of a Sissy Boy: A Gay Grimoire of Modern Magic for Men Who Love Men and the Hags Who Worship Them Read online

  Secrets of a Sissy Boy

  A Gay Grimoire of Modern Magick for Men Who Love Men and the Hags Who Worship Them

  Carolina Dean

  Creole Moon Publications

  PRESCOTT VALLEY, ARIZONA

  Copyright © 2016 by Carolina Dean.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher at the address below.

  Creole Moon Publications

  P.O. Box 25687

  Prescott Valley, AZ 86312

  www.creolemoonpublications.com

  Book Design and Layout ©2016 Denise Alvarado

  Sissy Boy Illustrations ©2016 Carolina Dean

  Ordering Information:

  Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address above.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available upon request.

  Secrets of a Sissy Boy/ Carolina Dean. —1st ed.

  ISBN-13: 978-1539415954

  ISBN-10:1539415953

  Contents

  Introduction

  The Power of Positive Sex

  Chapter One: The Secret to Healing

  Self-Blessing

  Of Lovers and Labels

  Life and Death, Death and Rebirth

  Rebirth Doll

  Retrain Your Brain

  A Honey Jar for Self Esteem

  Sexual Healing: Restoring Lost Nature

  Let Go and Let God

  To Assuage Grief over a Deceased Love

  Spiritual Checkups

  How to Perform a Spiritual Checkup

  The Egg Roll: A Rite of Spiritual Cleansing

  Chapter Two: The Secret of the Ancestors

  Gay Icons

  The Ancestor Altar

  Petitioning the Ancestors

  The Ancestor Pot

  Using Your Ancestor Pot

  Chapter Three: The Secret No One Talks About

  A Ritual to Uplift the Spirits of Gay Suicides

  On Coming Out

  A Ritual to Mark the Occasion of Your Coming Out

  Chapter Four: The Secret to Love

  The Ethics of Love and Sex Magick

  Unblocking Love: The Seven Insights

  Hey, Don’t Look Me Over

  New Love Honey Jar

  “Adam and Steve” Trio Mojo Hand for Love

  Moving Candle Spell to Draw a Lover Closer

  Devotion Potion

  Aiguillette: The Love Knot

  The Nation Sack

  Follow Me Boy Spells

  Chapter Five: The Secret to Sex

  Louisiana Sex Magick

  How to Be a Fisher of Men

  Buddha Had Me Like

  Hanky Panky: A Fetish for Fetishes

  To Stir Lust in a Man… or the “Boner” Charm

  Sex Magick, Sigils, & Social Media, Oh My!

  Come to Me Candle Spell

  Stone Spell for Male Potency

  Ganesha, Opener of the Way

  Chapter Six: The Secret to Prosperity

  The Money Prayer

  This Little Piggy Went to the Altar of Success and Prosperity

  Securing Your Job

  For a Rent Boy to Draw Trade

  How to Get Your Sugar Daddy to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth

  Fowl Magick for Money and Love

  Cross & Candle Spell

  How to Cleanse Your Money

  Chapter Seven: The Secret to Revenge

  Divine Retribution Spell

  Curse of the Mirror Box

  Break Up Bottle

  A Cursing Container Spell

  To Curse a Bully

  Pity that Penis Spell

  Chapter Eight: The Secret to Protection

  A Simple Protection Doll Baby Spell

  Anti-Candle Magick

  Uncrossing: How to Lift a Hex, Jinx, or Curse

  Reverse the Curse

  Box Fix Honey Jar

  For Protection While Sleeping

  All-Purpose Black-Candle Banishing Spell

  For Protection from a Violent Lover

  Protecting Another from a Bully

  Chapter Nine: The Secret of Wisdom

  Wisdom of the Elders

  Appendix A

  Appendix B

  Appendix C

  Appendix D

  Appendix E

  Appendix F

  Appendix G

  Appendix H

  Appendix I

  Appendix J

  Appendix K

  Appendix L

  Bibliography

  Resources

  About the Author

  To Our Readers

  Creole Moon Publications Titles

  Don’t dream it, be it.

  ― DR. FRANK N. FURTER

  Introduction

  Magic has always been a part of my life, even before I knew very much about it, how it works, or how to do it. However, I credit the idea of, belief in, and practice of magick with me being the person that I am today - which is a far cry from whom I used to be. As hard as it may seem, I was a shy, lonely boy who was different. I knew I was different, but I never felt safe giving a name that described how I was different. My peers knew I was different, too. Unfortunately, they didn't mind giving a name to that thing that made me different from everyone else. Sissy, faggot, homo...not a day went by that someone at some point didn't feel the need to remind me how I was different from the other boys.

  My only reprieve was that there were other people in school who were different, too (but different in a different way); so, when I wasn't the target of bullying, someone else was. Nonetheless, those times were few and far between. It made my life hell. As a freshman in high school, when many teens are discovering themselves as sexual beings, I became a regular target of the other boys for my perceived homosexuality. Even though deep down inside I knew they were right about me, I wasn't ready to admit it to myself, let alone anyone else.

  Having inherited my love of reading from my mother, I often retreated from the harsh cruelties of the world into my own fantasy world through books. Whereas my mother read romance novels, I leaned toward fantasy fiction. As I grew older and my interest in the occult became more prevalent, I began reading about ghosts, witches, and vampires. I became intrigued with the idea of becoming a vampire myself. I believed that if I were a vampire, then I would have the power to make the bullies stop hurting me. I believed I would have the power to hurt them and that I could make the boys that I liked, like me in return. Later, I would turn to witchcraft for the same reasons.

  One particularly harsh month the bullying got worse than ever. I felt like I couldn't turn to anyone. School officials either wouldn't or couldn't do anything to help and my home life wasn't ideal either. I began to realize that my fantasy of becoming a vampire had very little chance of becoming a reality and that's when I began to entertain thoughts of suicide. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone, but it seemed like the more I tried to will it to stop, the worse my situation became.

  Then, one day at the library I was reading a book about vampires and came across an
entry about Elizabeth Bathory. I had heard of Elizabeth Bathory before and read accounts of how she had murdered virgins and bathed in their blood to stay young and beautiful. This book mentioned the Countess' involvement with witchcraft and mentioned a charm she carried for protection. According to the story, Elizabeth carried a small leather pouch which contained an incantation written on a piece of parchment (although some accounts say it was the skin of an unbaptized baby).

  And so, believing that if vampires couldn't save me, then perhaps witchcraft could, I copied the incantation down precisely as it was written in the book. When I got back home, I stole a little leather pouch containing poker dice that my grandfather kept in a junk drawer. I snuck a candle and some matches into my room for my little ritual.

  That night, I waited for everyone to go asleep, and then I lit the candle. I read the incantation over and over several times asking God to save me from my bullies and give me the strength not to take my own life. Thinking that the spell needed something more, and recalling the power of blood, I pricked my finger and drew a pentagram over the prayer in my own blood and then folded up the paper with a bit of my hair inside of it. I tucked the paper in the little leather pouch and asked God to keep me safe at least until my birthday which was just a few weeks away. Somehow, I believed that if I could just stay alive until my birthday, everything would be all right.

  Even as I write these words, I cannot remember exactly what occurred in the days after I made my little mojo bag (and I know that technically it wasn't a real mojo bag). I don't recall if the bullying eased up or I got stronger or perhaps a little of both. All I know is that something changed for the better. This was one of my earliest experiences practicing successful magick. It was this spell that taught me that not only do words hurt, but they can also heal and empower you as well. Perhaps this was one of the reasons that I became less and less of a visual artist and more and more a writer…in order to harness the power of words.

  The Power of Positive Sex

  In later years, I would learn that I had another power inside me, a power that would give me the ability to wrap those boys around my finger, to make them nice to me and to like me. When I came out of the closet and embraced my sexuality, I discovered the power of sex and sexuality.

  One of the first things I discovered was that by simply acknowledging my homosexuality openly, I made other men uncomfortable, it threw them off their game, and it gave me an edge. I found that most straight men assume that all gay men wanted them and so I used that belief to my advantage. When conflicts arose, I simply flirted with them or outwitted them in our verbal sparring, and they would go away - and that was a form of protection. Words kept me safe.

  One day I had a conflict with a man who identified as straight, and so I deployed my usual weapon only to have that man express interest in sexual experimentation. It was then that I learned that when I give a man pleasure when he desires that pleasure from me more than I desire him, then I have power over him. And so for a long time, sex became something I used to make myself feel powerful. Those same boys that used to call me a sissy, faggot and homo were knocking on my door late at night with sweeter words on their lips and fire in their loins that only my passion could extinguish.

  And so, with this book I will share with you, dear reader, some of my most powerful secrets for seducing straight men, controlling your lover, eliminating rivals, and when necessary, how to remove a man’s nature, and MORE!

  chapter 1

  The Secret to Healing

  Though many of my readers will surely skip ahead to the chapters on The Secret to Love and The Secret to Sex, I wanted to open this book with the topic of healing because it is a very important aspect of conjure, and there is a great deal of need for this type of work in the gay community. So, go on and look at those love and sexual conquest spells, but come back here and read this section too, because it is a very important section. Go on; I’ll wait.

  Ready? OK. Many LGBT youths, myself included, grew up in Christian households, or households that were loosely Christian and where homosexuality was considered an abomination. We heard our parents, our aunts, our uncles, our preachers, our teachers, community leaders, politicians, schoolyard bullies, and people who ought to just plain know better repeat the same old arguments over and over again. “God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve,” “God Hates Fags,” “Marriage is between one man and one woman,” “Homosexuality is a sin, and if a man lies with another man as he lies with a woman, they will be put to death,” etc.

  Also, there seems to be a lot of misconceptions about gays that have been spread in the form of generalities, lies, and gossip. Some of these misconceptions include, but are not limited to, the following:

  Gay men are all sexual predators and pedophiles.

  Gay men want to have sex with every man they see or meet, regardless of that man’s sexual orientation.

  Gay male couples consist of one person who is the “man” and one who is the “woman.”

  Gay men are all effeminate, limp-wristed, and walk with a swish.

  Gay men enjoy dressing in drag and pretending to be women OR all gay men want to be women.

  You can tell if a man is gay by the way he looks or dresses.

  When you grow up hearing these misconceptions over and over again, you actually start to believe they are true. It’s no wonder that many LGBT youths grow up feeling that there is something wrong with them, even though their desires and feelings are perfectly natural. Internalizing these misconceptions has resulted in many of our youths, gay and straight alike, being damaged in some way and is an issue that our society as a whole has yet to address. By damaged, I mean that many LGBT grow up self-loathing, fearful, and (surprisingly) homophobic themselves! They believe that because society has assigned certain characteristics to homosexuals, that they possess those characteristics because they are homosexual. In reality, gay culture is just as beautiful and varied as straight culture (and just a little bit more fabulous).

  When I was a boy in school, there was a graveyard across from our Middle School. If you had a conflict with someone, you would meet them in that graveyard after school and fight it out. Sometimes you got your butt whooped, and sometimes you whooped the other guy. Either way, you walked away from that fight with the respect of your enemy for having stood up for yourself. Many times, that enemy even became your friend. Nonetheless, something changed in our society and bullied kids started bringing guns to school and killing those who hurt them and those who happened to be in the way and those who just happened to be there, and just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, bullied kids starting killing themselves.

  These acts of violence are a cry for help, for compassion, and for healing. Now, not every LGBT youth becomes violent or commits murder or suicide. That said, even one is one too many. The sad truth is the only thing wrong with them is that they think that there is something wrong with them. Thus, the key to change, any change, begins with our thoughts. Our thoughts then manifest through our words and our deeds.

  Self-Blessing

  As spiritual practitioners, we are often called upon to bless our clients in various ways, such as helping them to find love, engender luck, assuage grief, restore health, and remove blockages, to name a few. But, what does it mean to be blessed, and how are we blessed?

  Bruce Wilkinson, the author of The Prayer of Jabez, defines blessing as “(asking) for or to impart supernatural favor.” When we perform rituals to bless others, we are calling upon God to confer his favor upon them so that they may know God’s love and to enjoy abundance in all things. To seek a blessing is to ask to become closer to God and align ourselves with his will.

  Below, I will share a ritual to assist you in moving closer to God and receiving his spiritual blessings. To perform this ritual, you will need the following:

  Hyssop

  Salt

  White candle

  Blessing Oil

  Photo of yourself

  Bible


  Shortly before sunrise, prepare a spiritual bath which includes Hyssop. Set two candles on either side of your shower or tub and light them. Soak in the bath for at least ten minutes as you contemplate that which you feel is separating you from God and keeping you from the gifts that He has to offer you. You may wish to read Psalm 51 as you meditate (see Appendix A).

  When you are ready, begin pouring the water over your head as you say, “Cleanse me with Hyssop and I will be clean, wash me and I will be whiter than snow.” When you are done, stand up and step backward out of the tub and pass between the two lit candles, saying: “In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

  Before allowing the water to run down the drain, save a cupful to dispose of at a crossroads by throwing it towards the East over your left shoulder and walking away without looking back.

  At your altar, mark a white candle with your name and the word “Blessed.” Dress the candle with Blessing Oil by putting the oil on the tip of your finger and then stroking the candle over your name towards yourself and say:

  May the Lord bless me and keep me. May He make His face to shine on me and be gracious to me. May the Lord turn His face to me and give me peace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  Place the candle in a holder on top of an overturned saucer, under which you have placed the photograph of yourself. Hold your hands a few inches over the candle, focus on your desire for blessings, and pray The Lord’s Prayer (see Appendix B). In addition, you may wish to personalize the prayer, saying something such as:

  My Father, who art in heaven, hallowed by Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give me this day, my daily bread. Forgive me of my trespasses, and I forgive those who trespass against me. Lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil, for Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen.